Irrelevance.
I am self-employed, which means I spend a lot of time contemplating the worth of my own existence. I am completely unemployable and love working remotely for various clients, which is great because it’s rare that I ever feel like what I’m doing is “work.” However, this tends to yank out the Catholic Guilt buried deep down in me, especially when I spend an entire morning in bed sipping coffee while getting work done. It’s then that I start wondering if what I’m doing is worthwhile to the world since it’s fun and way less stressful than everyone else’s work schedule.
And I now have a much bigger problem. It comes around whenever I think about how obscenely large the universe is, and after writing this blog post for The 9 Billion (an excellent environmental news site you should definitely be reading), these feelings struck hard.
If you don’t feel like clicking through the post, it’s about how European astronomers have discovered tens of billions of potentially habitable planets within our galaxy that are orbiting dwarf stars. They estimate that 40 percent of dwarf stars have an orbiting “Super-Earth” planet that is bigger than Earth and within like 30 light-years away from us, basically making us neighbors to billions of planets we didn’t even know existed.
I’ve sat around and thought about other life-forms before and how there has got to be some trippin’ ass shit out there, but this made everything I’ve ever thought a lot more realistic.
So I start wondering if these planets and life forms are how we always pictured it (slimy green aliens) or if it’s a completely civilized and industrialized place similar to Earth. You don’t think of aliens as architects, coal miners, or pilots, so why picture them living in a metropolis similar to New York City?
So like, are these planets as segregated as ours, where on one continent you have obesity and fast food restaurants but on another you have impoverished people with no drinking water? Do these planets have political systems, debates, and one “gender” telling another “gender” what to do with their body? Do they worship deities they believe exist out in the sky? Do they go to places and trade pieces of established value for items to drape over their naked parts? Do they have celebrities and media and Zatarain’s rice products and Hot Pockets and Gossip Girl?
I already feel small but if there are other planets out there eating some sort of Hot Pocket and watching Gossip Girl, well I don’t even know if I can deal. What’s the point of copywriting, selling vintage and taking pictures of food? NONE OF IT MATTERS. On the plus side and for probably no reason at all, this makes me a little less stressed about bills. It’s not like some asshole on the next planet over will yell at me if I forgot to pay Visa last month.
Posted in Life
if none of it matters then lets just spend all day eating hot taco and tiramisu
I approve of this idea whether it all matters or not.
Way to get really deep there, Mandy. It’s almost too much for a regular old Wednesday.
I know what you mean though. Sometimes I think, What’s the point? There are a million people out there who want to be writers, who are telling their stories. What makes me special? What makes my story worthwhile? And how did I get so lucky that I’m able to pursue this, while other people are struggling to make ends meet?
The thing is, it just is what it is. There’s only as much purpose as we make or find. So I may as well be happy and try to live the life that I want, whether it’s lasting and meaningful or not.
WAY too much for a Wednesday. But yea, let’s keep doin’ what we’re doin’ whether it all matters or not. If we love it, then it matters.